Friday, September 9, 2011

With half of my heart, that has never loved anything.

I’ve been borrowing sessions on laptops from friends lately. And all the while, while I am not on the laptop, I am meticulously chalking out the requirements that the Laptop that I buy is supposed to conform to. And all the while I am doing this, I am weighing my options of calling my old pal, my desktop, to come and stay with me. I’d pieced it together like a bouquet with flowers handpicked from diverse gardens with the best fragrance I could have afforded in my meager budget. It never let me down.
Somehow, I find customized things more appealing than any branded thing. An assembled computer, a custom built Lamborghini or well, we’ll talk about that in a few moments from now on.
I see faces everyday while I stand in a queue over the dining area, and I see them in plenty. Some repeat over day, some don’t. Then I have friends around who keep me updated on the directions where I should be facing. Meanwhile, there is a lot going on in my little head. I see a face, and I like its nose, a thin ridge line culminating on a pin point with just the right slopes on either sides. I remember reading somewhere that there are 14 types of noses in this world and I try to validate that claim. The other side of my brain sends SOS signals and forces me to abort the database scan. I see another one with kohled eyes so mesmerizingly beautiful that I am sure that they must have taken someone’s life in the past. Suddenly I am drawn to the upward curve of pink lips (neither too dry, nor too wet) too close not to notice. She’s smiling at some message in her inbox and merrily typing away the reply standing in the nearby queue. There’s another with the best cheek bone I’ve seen and there are a few more unnoticed faces I might not see today, the ones with figures many of their gender would envy and crave for.  Then there are a few who are the best company anyone would want to be in, for life. And all the while they happen to pass along, I am trying to calculate a composite picture, borrowing the best feature from each one of them and putting it in its place in my mental picture. What am I doing there? I have an empty plate, and an empty stomach to fill and a little brain in a much bigger compartment where it is bouncing around.

So the bottom line is that I like assembled things customized as per the taste. Only that I don’t have any tangible approach to God. But there is another catch even if I had some. It’s probably too late to be ordering something from way up there. Why? It’s simple. I send in a request, and even if I am a high priority and my order would supersede every other pending order, designing takes time. The whole framework has to be built just perfect. The process development cycle is a long and risky process. He needs to do it first time right, and He just cannot compromise. Even after the architecture has been released to manufacturing for the single piece to be made, the gestation time between the first stage and the delivery phase is still nine months, which by today's standard would mean obsoleteness even before it is released. Plus, the company of two to whom the rights to ownership are being granted until the product is mature enough to be sent off to the one who ordered it, has to be trustworthy, because mishandling of such delicate things can lead to defects and finally refusal. Plus security is also a concern, because virus is a common term inflicting many things today and who knows, something that I had ordered is stolen from their place?
Even though all of that was possible, no Horlicks or Bournvita or any fountain of youth would miraculously turn her into a compatible age group. Which means, by the time the product is ready for delivery, the one who ordered the make would be obsolete. What options am I left with except to make myself happy in branded things, built as per the market strategy and not the true needs? Is this why there is an idiom that
we'll always regret buying a computer, mobile and having a girl after a few days of having them just because something better would come along due to evolution? Now I think that the one who started this whole concept of marketing and economics long ago must have been working in close collaboration with the Almighty. He must have been God’s recruit, his Angel, sent on deputation to this purgatory to make necessary arrangements for avoiding future complications. In addition, God ensured that we get a little idea (only a little and not exact) of what we want only after crossing a certain age threshold so that no custom orders are delivered just after we entered this world.
And what do I expect after exposing such an intelligent trick that has been played upon us all by no one other than God? You never know, He’s after all a mischievous kid who always has tricks up his sleeves. He just might offer me something I can’t deny? He’s full of surprises, hides peace at the core of every storm.

P.S. : Don't be offended if the girl is being compared to a product and man to it's eventual owner or customer. And if you are still miffed, let 'I' be you (ladies) and 'She' be 'He'.


PhilO♥ said...

I love desktop computers :)
But ya, I love my laptop too :D
But, typing on a typewriter is some different fun altogether :)
It's so true, that after we get something, we find something better and we want that too! Or we ditch the old and go for the new :)
Loved the post!
Take Care :)
Waiting for next friday :P

aakash said...



Ananya said...

rofl at the comparison drawn.. :D :D just leaves a thought in my brain.. 'AARRGH.. YOU MEN" :p :p

btw, nice way to defend your self: "let 'I' be you (ladies) and 'She' be 'He'" ????? :D :D

Unknown said...

o yea? 14 types of noses. didn't have a clue about it.
I now love accepting and enjoying the imperfections.
they are incredibly interesting or my life won't move.

Rià said...

Love the comment by Solitaire...infact i quite agree with her. lol and the note in the end. No i didnt mind all...ur comparisons are always so interesting!! :D

CookieCrumbsInc. said...

Assembling things from scratch are what makes them special, because every bit of it has been considered upon, approved and put together lovingly by us. It's exactly how we want it to be, according to how we'd like it to be.
It's deeply satisfying to see all the hard work pay off.

But when you talk about girls being assembled and becoming obsolete to their final owner..
When we look for and meet our partner, we like them for certain qualities they possess, yeah (apart from the million other reasons). But if we want to customize them to our liking, won't it take away the individuality that drew us to them in the first place?
There will be no surprises left which will make the journey of life one of tedium and boredom.

SEPO said...


Though i liked this post and enjoyed reading it, but yea am annoyed with the comparison :|

Chandana said...

LOL! Nice escape with the last sentence!
Mister..! If this is way you are looking at things.. you are better off with an assembled robot than an actual girl (or maybe the girl is better off :P)
Witty and oddly sensible post! Nice read :)

Chintan said...

9 months really? buy the parts, assemble and job done! what kinda techie are you :P

Chintan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
KP said...

comparing God to a software developer and liking assembling.. few from here and few from there..

its a wish by many.. but the imperfections add beauty, around the perfect things. after all we are just assembled ones rite? as u said there are only 14 diff types of noses, and a million faces, with different combination..! :)

Vaisakhi said...

i loved the lady will be offnded i guess..:P
n desktops...hmm i still have my p3 junk box which is heavily papmerd by all 4 its "mr dependbl" p4 is adored by everyone 4 its storage capacity n well the new love claimin all the attention now is my lappy....n best part all survive...:)

like aakash said techie abstract n witty...loved it...:)

Sadiya Merchant said...

wel u needn settl fr a compromise just yet.
ball jointed dolls? :P

AL said...

Heyyyyyy awesomeest person EVA!!!

Lol im highhhhhh.

Awesome post thoughhhhh

Rachit said...

customization and realization go hand in hand.. while the fake smell of brands and people twinge it up. And, I know what it takes to leave all that thing which you happen to summate in years. Liked the post.

Weakest LINK

Blasphemous Aesthete said...

typewriter has a tune of its own, thank you.

Thank You!

No seriously, do it. It's not that only I have expectations.

I appreciate that. May you be happy in what you get. Best of luck.

Thank You!

Okay, let me put it in plain words then. Given that I ask God to create a desired girl for me now @almost 23 years of age, the girl when comes to this world would be born, not just appearing out of the blue. So, by the time she'd be getting into the eligibility bracket of above 18, I'd be? 42.
And i did not exactly say that the girl would be obsolete, it's the expectations and desires of the one who wanted them initially, because that is something that always keeps on changing. On the other hand, I explicitly mention that by the time she's eligible, the one who desired of her would be obsolete.

I am sorry if it hurt you, but there was no other element in the post except the comparison.

Yes, this is the way I look at things. For me, women are not things.

LOL, how can I do that?
Firstly, organ trade is a contemptible and incorrigible crime, and secondly, how do I put life even if I manage to put the body together?

Yes, you make a very valid point.

They are.
And do take care of all three, they'll take care of your needs, and no one else's.

Nah, I don't play with girl's toys.

hehe, Come back when you are sober.

Maryam A. said...

Haha, awesome post there.

Rekha said...

Granted u get the product via time travel so that u r not obsolete when it reaches u...what is the guarantee that in the intervening years ur expected configurations haven't changed?..then do u pass on the hapless, desrving product to untrustworthy, undeserving hands...
Lol at the wheels that steer your brain around. Enjoyed this mechanical, metaphysical, hypothetical argument...

P.S we women know better than to take offence on the musings of a child; in a toy shop, unable to find his favourite. :P

Neeha said...

Made me remember of a friend who always speaks about computers instead of girls.
P.S tells you are playing safe:)

Prateek Bagri said...

You're such an EngiNerd Anshul. :P

Everything is bound to fall in a defined framework. :P

Prateek Bagri said...

You're such an EngiNerd Anshul. :P

Everything is bound to fall in a defined framework. :P

nidhi said...

assembled also wish i had an assembled boy..som1 wid humor, brains, looks, money, witty..i mean all the qualities :D...but then again i like imperfection in things
its a nice write :)

Nidhi Mahajan said...

14 types of noses? seriously?
Your post makes sense. But I would like it better if your last sentence was implemented. :P It would prevent me from thinking ill of the whole of your gender.

And its too late to order and/or assemble a girl of your choice buddy. You better do with whatever you have!

Anonymous said...

nyc but weird comparison. man.. warn you, u might not get satisfied in life with what you get...and if thats truly the case,,,, you would find it hard to get a girl for yourself or the girl gonna repent later for having been chosen,loved and left for someone even better..!!!

Anyways, carry on..!!

Blasphemous Aesthete said...

Thank You!

My assembled PC does not sport a core i5 or i7, and is still at home and I want it to stay there until I bring it here.
After anything is mine, it is my sole responsibility to take care of it and nourish it so that the fondness increases with time. My thinking would become outdated should I choose to part with it, and not trying to upgrade it to the next level.

Oh no, I ain't playing at all. I'm just sitting in the spectator rows and thinking.

It will!

That is good. No one can totally love a fully symmetric face.

Yes, maybe it should have been the opening note, rather than the closing one.
I realize that I am too late. I ain't calling shots.

Cloud Nine said...

Some pretty nice comparisons here! LOL!!! The closing note is just wonderful, i reread the post replacing the 'she' and 'I':P Who likes obsolete goods anyway???

Carnett Rose said...

Let's just say for once that the Almighty of whom you have spoken in a delightfully mocking manner has pre-empted your 'specifications' and designed your counterpart around the same time as you were created. How would that be? ;)

A very interesting post. :D

Simran said...

I am agree with customizing,It assures that we have all the desired features and not the useless ones.

It's so creative that you searches the best face features and arrange them in your mind ..
A very nice post :)

I like reading you because you always come up with something new, philosophical and creative ideas :)

Keep writing and sharing :)

Sara said...


jo said...

You mixed up technology and aesthetics and God so delightfully...
I wonder if you like cooking ? :P
(Random thought, couldn't help it. )

Creative as always and delightfully so :)

Anand said...

random thoughts... and the parallel you've drawn with computer and people is nice... Sometimes we will have to adjust with what we get rather than demanding a custom-made one... After-all there's a pleasure in this one too...

Sarah malik said...

u shifted to Delhi recently no? oh my my! V delhi girls then do have some charm...coz even d earlier post I read from u was about women :P
jokes apart, oh yes..customized things are always the best..although v humans can never be contended with just about anything but still the closer to better!


Blasphemous Aesthete said...

@Cloud Nine
Thank You!

I expect my Lord to do even better, He knows things better than me, or anyone else. It's just that I like to pull His legs.

Thank You!


Now that I am into research development, I'd delve deeper into research of advanced culinary techniques too. I don't exactly like cooking until I actually start doing it. Once I am in the kitchen, I would want to eat good food. (Though amateurs like me have hard time getting the judgment of salt right.)

P.S.: I like khichdi, that is something my brain relates to so well.

Oh yes, anything that makes you happy, even a thought. Sometimes, things we get as they are leave us mesmerized as they are beyond our expectations.

I'd invite you to visit Shimla if you think Delhi girls are doing this to me.
And I can't help if you land up here only when women find mention, there's quite some intermittent divide filled up by other posts too.

Purba said...

He anticipated the backlash and stalled it with his P.S - Clever :)

But it is the imperfections which make your partner interesting.

And 14 types of noses? Must google it.


'Techohuman' post. .Nice one :)

Ashwini C N said...

I luved reading this post.

Indeed, God is clever in that aspect, as he offers something one cant deny.
Right, Something is better than nothing at all.

NIce post :)

Anita Jeyan said...

Wow thats some creative thinking at its best ! Getting away from feminists by the last sentence took the cake ! If not for that sentence you'dve got a different set of comments and debate altogether, good enough to compose another post . Nice one !

Blasphemous Aesthete said...

He realized before completing it that not everyone would take it in a jovial sense. But he was too late and blank to write something else.

@Disgruntled Genius

Strangely, there would not be anyone in this world left with nothing.

God forbid! That should never happen.

Subhrashis Adhikari said... one is made perfect...not even assembled stuff.... that's the charm :)

Tanishka said...

Aa haa... So someone wants a perfect girl but do you know that perfect is predictable n predictable is boring.... Don't you think if you get the perfect gal then you would miss all the fun imperfections bring along... Do you still want miss perfect :D

Rahul said...

An interesting read!
You managed to antagonize the fairer sex!!

Wings of Harmony said...

I on the contrary, liked the comparison, coz you have mentioned that "the company of two to whom the rights to ownership are being granted until the product is mature enough to be sent off to the one who ordered it" which basically would mean that both of them (man and woman)have equal rights. Your analysis was like an outsider, like a robot - the details...whole analogy, was different and intriguing. Good Post. :D :D

Unknown said...

Loved this one!!!

nil said...

Haven't had the time to read this :(
Will be back soon!

A grain of sand said...

this post had me laughing! customized girl is what you desire for, but when she is actually born she will be your daughter's age :D
instead of tweaking the 'comodity' to our needs,maybe if we could tweak ourselves a little and cull out the best! :D
anyway, i enjoyed it.
keep it up!

D2 said...

Only an engineer could ever write something like this. Aesthete, you are right. But sometimes, even the best custom made 'products' become old and need to be upgraded. What do you do then? Order parts or services? You could update softwares too. And make sure it isn't open source. You need to completely own your 'product'.
Keep tweaking and it will run perfectly, just the way you'd want it to. ;)

@The ladies : We geeks just love to mess around. That's all. :)

PhilO♥ said...

I love the sounds it makes :D

Erratic Thoughts said...

Umm yeah I have my pc assembled and my laptop customized, that leaves little for me to grumble later,but I still do!
And ever thought that you might be the answer to someone's customized request?;)
Interesting post!

Blasphemous Aesthete said...

True. But finding faults in your own judgment id often against our egos.

Don't you know that a perfect person could be perfectly unpredictable too, and the surprises they give could be perfect surprises too. Whyh should a man walking a yardstick be considered perfect and not monotonous. Perfection has a much wider scope.
Hell yes, I'd want one miss perfect, but perfection should be my way.

Oh no, I did not, see, I am still replying here and the blog is still alive. Isn't it good enough to prove that the fairer sex is game enough for a little humour too?

Umm, I thought I was writing like a baffled customer.

Thank You!


@A grain of sand
I think I also said the first part of your comment. I'd be obsolete by the time the girl of my desires is ready.
But yes, I can hammer myself. Thank You!

That is the beauty of assembled products, you can relentlessly upgrade until you can support the upgrades. Tweaking is all we can do to make things better, perfecting the perfect.


@Erratic Thoughts
That is why there is the last line, 'God might offer me something I cannot refuse'
Thank You, and welcome here.

Saru Singhal said...

That's the reason, I say techies are weird( including my husband). Guys, life is not a perfect mathematical equation or a Java program, it's much more than that. Having said that, It's a nice post and I enjoyed reading it.

Wings of Harmony said...

Now, I am baffled. :| I think I misinterpreted, didn't I? :|

Blasphemous Aesthete said...

But there has to be a full randomizing algorithm on which it works, life. And equations, there are many. God is one mathematician, a hell of one rather.
Having said that, a big thank you for the compliment.

Oh no, you read that part right.

Kunal said...

Don't be disheartened...May be...many more people like you have the same wish as yours and have already given bulk orders before...And you get your delivery just at the right time..if you are lucky.. ;)

Angel said...

So's so different when an engineer really speaks
his mind. a well rounded Anshul..a writer , an engineer !

Saru Singhal said...

Lovely reply Anshul...:) I loved it!!!

Suruchi said...

My god,14 types of noses, eh?No wonder once a cosmotologist(three times delete karke type kiya-now screw the spelling) told me I had one of the prettiest noses she had ever seen...I thought noses were all of one type n who would have thought that a guy would say a 'nose' when asked what motivates him about a woman the most! And that nose thingy par enough ripping was done on my fb that story some other day!

People who know you, would not need the P.S. and what stupid feminist stuff would it have evoked anyways...all humans are machines only at the end of the day!Brilliantly sketched comparison and can we expect anything else ever on this page?

A perfect assembled piece is a myth, you would never get it even if god was your own best pal with a written certificate issued, to serve your wishes to the best of his abilities-kahin na kahin, jo feature sabse zyaada pasand aaye, sabse zyaada satisfaction guarantee kare-grab it...the rest becomes adapted to our needs or we to its/hers anyways:-)

Blasphemous Aesthete said...

You missed the whole point. Flew off the tangent.

There is only one individual in me Angel.


I'll be all ears, or rather all noses when you share the story of the nose. Oh yes, nose does matter when making that perfect face.
Oh if God is my Bestest Pal (in tangible terms), why would I need anyone else who is perfect.
Perhaps, I assume that no one knows me.
I'll be on the look out for such an undeniable deal :)
Thank You!

Unknown said...

Such a profound observation, BA... The mind seems lost between endless aspirations and limited possibilities.

Miss D said...

And that is why I make sure every little item I own is personalized and has a part of me.

It is simply so satisfying!

Irina M. said...

Customized things are a way to make a statement and to feel alive. Much like blog posts...:o)...



Srinidhi said...

I must be late with this comment. I find the comparison very interesting in fact. Cause I think I have often tried to assemble my life into order. Something I have now given up on cause well its not possible. What i seem to want today, I dont want tommorrow. So I get the concept of obsolete.

Nice thought :)

Samadrita said...

If only we could get customized physical features and customized brain features, I'd ask for a photographic memory and a flawless skin tone+texture which will render applying moisturizer and other lotions unnecessary.

Punam said...

Hi Anshul - I agree.. the human tendency to regret once the choice is made coz something better came along - is everywhere. But I don't fall for it, coz I love everything that I choose and I usually take responsibility for it. If I am not happy, I might complain but then - that's life. :)
Again, a complicated post from you. :)

⁂ܓVållῐ ⁂ܓ☺ said...

Lolz....creative comparison...and cleaver postscript

D22 Zone said...

Love this blog post! A really interesting read! Followed!

Blasphemous Aesthete said...

Thank You!

That is good news. Hehe!

True, thank you for that thought.

But there are long term goals that we set for ourselves in life, don't we?

Even seen anything that always stays new? :P

Then you are a much reformed person. You should be able to solve all your problems?

Thank You.

@D22 Zone
Welcome here!

Jyoti Mishra said...

the concept of assembled gals.... :D
the idea in itself is amusing. Thank god this is only an idea.

Unknown said...

hehe, love this write-up! I do that too, try and pick different parts of different people and put them together in my mind to come up with my ideal person... Sigh, if only God had an order and delivery facility that one could use!

Unknown said...

hehe, love this write-up! I do that too, try and pick different parts of different people and put them together in my mind to come up with my ideal person... Sigh, if only God had an order and delivery facility that one could use!

. said...

nice thinking. and nice comparisons drawn. and very intelligent PS note ;) saved your skin.
btw, ofcourse custom made is good, but do you not loooveeeee it at times when u just come cross something branded and you are compelled to say - gosh!!! EXACTLY what i want. without ordering it somebody made something exactly the way u wanted it? i mean its nice to make your tea just the way u want it, but doesnt it feel GRRRRRRRRR888 when someone gives you a great cuppa and you feel like hugging that person!! just what u wanted kind of feeling? custom made sort of takes away that wow moment :)

Anonymous said...

You know you are not the only guy who thinks this way. Infact not the only human who thinks this way. It's not bad to want something according to what you think you need. You spoke about borrowing good stuff from here and there and assembling it into one right? This again reminds me of a scene in the movie 'Nayak' which pretty much projects what the result could the case of a girl that is ;) Do watch it someday if you have not yet, just to see what your assembled girl may look like :D

Eris said...

you are soo right...i automatically converted "he" into "she" cuz I have been thinking along the same lines since last two months. I had thought exposure to a huge crowd would finally mellow down the need for customized man, but it actually increased it....last lines were great

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