Friday, May 6, 2011

कोई याद करे ?



आम तौर पर मुझे किसी की याद नहीं आती | बहुत रह रह कर घर की सुध लेता हूँ | माँ को इसी बात का हमेशा रोष रहा है | कहती हैं कि “ठीक हूँ” सिर्फ इतना कहने के लिए ही फोन करो, पर अपने आप नियमानुसार किया करो | माँ का ह्रदय है, मैं कहता हूँ कि रोज रोज एक ही बात कहने के लिए फोन करना? माँ मुझ से यह न होगा | पर फिर भी माँ से हार ही जाता हूँ |

जब मैं किसी को याद नहीं रखता तो कोई मुझे क्यूँ याद करे? वे कहते हैं कि उन्हें मेरी याद आती है, और मैं? कौतुहलवश पूछ बैठता हूँ कि क्यूँ? और कैसे? मेरे समक्ष दो तर्क हैं, पहला यह कि मुझ में याद करने वाला जो भाव है, वो परमेश्वर ने दिया ही नहीं है | दूसरा यह कि मुझ को मालूम ही नहीं है कि याद कहते किसको हैं | जो भी सत्य हो, अभी मैं उस से अनजान हूँ | इसी वजह से चिंता कर बैठता हूँ | उन्हें मेरी याद कैसे आ सकती है यही सोच सोच कर मैं उनको याद करता हूँ | रह रह कर यही बात याद आ जाती है कि वे मुझे याद करते हैं | 

फिर सोचता हूँ कि ऐसा क्या कहा होगा मैंने जब हम पिछली बार मिले थे जो बात उनको याद रह गयी हो? क्या कोई प्रश्न पुछा था उन्होंने जिसका उत्तर देना मैं भूल गया था? या अपनी ही धुन में उनको कुछ ऐसा कह दिया हो जो उनको निरंतर कचोट रहा हो? ऐसा क्या किया होगा मैंने? कहीं कुछ पहनावे में भेद आ गया हो, कोई कमी रह गयी हो? बस यही सोच सोच कर उनके साथ हुई पूरी वार्ता मनन करता हूँ और ढूँढने की कोशिश करता हूँ वह अंश, जो उनके पास रह गया और मेरी याद बन गया |

फिर झल्ला कर अपने ही आप को हलके से सर पर हाथ मारता हूँ | थोडा श्रेय तो उनका भी बनता है, मैं ऐसा सही, वे तो अलग हैं, अच्छे हैं | शायद याद आना उनकी अच्छाई है, बस यही सोच कर संतुष्ट हो जाता हूँ, और उनसे अगली मुलाकात का इन्तेज़ार करता हूँ |  और मंद मंद मुस्कुराता हूँ कि किसी बहाने ही सही, मैंने भी उनको याद किया |



P.S. : Have posted its transliteration and translation in the comments section.

52 comments:

Fatima said...

Mujhe bahot aacha laga yeh lekh...ek sukun mehsus hua najane kyun padke....

yaad toh sabhi karte hai, bus kabhi kabhi bayan nahi karsakte...

Aur mein toh jin logon se sabse zyada sneh karti hoon unse hi kehne se darti hoon...k aapki yaad aarahi thi..ajeeb hai lekin sach hai :)

I guess meine itni buri tarhan bhi nahi likha...aapko samhaj toh aaraha hoga :D

Apna Khayal Rakhna !

Nehha N Josshi said...

Padhke aisa laga jaise ki dil se likha hai. Kabhi kabhi main bhi apne sawaalon ka khud hi jawab dhund leti hun. Iske kai faide hote hain...unme se ek yeh ki aap thode samay ke liye hi sahi par kisi vyakti vishesh se judh jaate ho, uska mann mehsoos kar lete ho.

Felicity said...

Waiting for the translation. :P

Blasphemous Aesthete said...

Aam taur par mujhe kisi ki yaad nahi aati. Bahut reh reh kar ghar ki sudh leta hoon. Ma ko isi baat ka hamesha rosh raha hai. Kehti hain “theek hoon” sirf itna kehne ke liye hi phone karo, par niyam anusaar se phone karo. Ma ka hriday hai, main kehta hoon ki roz roz ek hi baat kehne ke liye phone karna? Ma mujh se ye na hoga. Par phir Ma se haar hi jaata hoon.
Jab main kisi ko yaad nahi rakhta to koi mujhe kyun yaad kare? Ve kehte hain ki unhe meri yaad aati hai, aur main? Kautuhalvash pooch baithta hoon ki kyun? Aur kaise? Mere samaksh do tark hain, pehla yeh ki mujh mein yad karne wala jo bhaav hai vo parmeshvar ne diya hi nahi hai hai. Doosra yeh ki mujh ko maloom hi nahi hai ki yaad kehte kiso hain. Jo bhi satya hai, abhi mein us se anjaan hoon. Isi vajah se chinta kar baithta hoon. Unhe meri yaad kaise aa sakti hai, yahi soch soch kar main unko yaad karta hoon. Reh reh kar yahi baat yaad aa jaati hai ki ve mujhe yaad karte hain.
Phir sochta hoon ki aisa kya kaha hoga maine jab ham pichli baar mile the, jo baat unko yaad reh gayi ho? Kya koi prashna poocha tha unhone jiska uttar dena bhool gaya tha. Ya apni hi dhun mein unko kuch aisa keh diya ho jo unko nirantar kachot raha ho? Aisa kya kiya hoga maine? Kahin kuch pehnaave mein bhed aa gaya ho, koi kami reh gayi ho? Bas yahi soch soch kar unke saath hui poori varta manan karta hoon aur dhoondhne ki koshish karta hoon veh ansh, jo unke paas reh gaya aur meri yaad ban gaya.
Phir jhalla kar apne hi aap ko halke se sir par haath maarta hoon. Thoda shreya to unka bhi banta hai, main aisa sahi, ve to alag hain, ache hain. Shayad yaad aana unki achhai hai, bas yahi soch kar santusht ho jaata hoon, aur unse agli mulakaat ka intezaar karta hoon. Aur mand mand muskurata hoon ki kisi bahaane hi sahi, maine unko yaad kiya.

Prateek said...

कभी कभी इंसान की परिस्थिति उसे कुछ ना करने पर मजबूर कर हे देती हैं | दुनिया से काट देती हैं | उस समय हम "उन्हें" याद करते हैं |
पोस्ट तो दिल से लिखा हुआ सा महसूस हो रहा है |

Blasphemous Aesthete said...

I don’t generally miss anybody. Seldom do I think of home. Ma is always miffed at this peculiar behavior of mine. I try to reason with her, I put forward my defense, ‘Calling everyday just to say I am fine? Mother I can’t do that, it’s boring.’ But I have to eventually succumb to the frailty of a mother’s heart.
But then I wonder, when I don’t remember anybody, why should anyone remember me? She tells me that she misses me often, and I ask baffled and perplexed, why? And how? I can think of two reasons. First, the emotion called ‘missing’ was not programmed into me. Second, I don’t exactly know how to miss, which means that even if I am missing someone, I don’t exactly know that I am missing them. Whatever may be the truth, I am unaware of it and this becomes the reason of my discomfort. They miss me, mulling over this thought over and over again, I start thinking about them.
Lost in this train of thought, I wonder what had come to pass last time we met. Had there been an unanswered question that She had posed and I had failed to answer? Or had I said something too rude while I was lost in my reverie? What possibly could I have done? Was there some flaw in my dress up that might be a source of mirth for her? Trying to find the answers I try to re-run the tape of that conversation again and again, and try to find the figment, the spark that she might have carried away and now is the cause of this missing phenomenon.
Then I mildly slap myself on the back of my head and smile a little. Let’s give some credit to her. I might be the jerk I am, but she is different, she’s good in fact. It is her goodness and congeniality that she thought of me at leisure. This satisfies the pervading questions of my troubled mind and I eagerly look forward for the next opportunity when we meet again. And secretly I smile, at least I remembered her, if not missed her.

Saumya said...

shayad yaad aana unki acchai hai...bauhat badhiyaa....kisi ko yaad karna naa karna hamare control mein khana hota hai...bas jidhar dil aur man chala jaaye....wo aankhon mein utar aata hai.....

read such a soothing writeup after a long time :)

Blasphemous Aesthete said...

@Fatima
धन्यवाद !

@Nehha
शायद आप सही कह रही हैं |

@Felicity
It's up above here.

@Prateek
परन्तु मैं परिस्थिति का मारा नहीं हूँ | कदाचित परिस्थिति के अनुकूल अथवा प्रतिकूल होने और मुझ को किसी व्यक्ति विशेष कि याद आने में मैं आज तक कोई सम्बन्ध स्थापित नहीं कर पाया हूँ |
सराहने के लिए धन्यवाद |

Blasphemous Aesthete said...

@Saumya
Sorry for having missed your comment. :)

हिंदी में लिखने से न जाने क्यूँ सुकून सा आने लगा है | कभी अंग्रेजी में ऐसी राहत नहीं मिली!
Thank You for the patience of reading it.

Mansi said...

many a times I wonder why I started blogging? what thing brings me here? I am not a prolific writer then why I came into this?
Its because I ought to meet some wonderful person here in this world of blogging! And I am glad I came here!
lovely writing...made me remember 'someone'..:-)

☆ Rià ღ said...

I shall wait for the translation.

Tanvi said...

The guy who always said, I can't miss, I don't know how to?! Maybe I'll never know... and the way i used to get irritated...I still remember Anshul, Oh my god!
Somehow, however you'll always keep taking someone's name who was with you for hours,and endless days...Mothers are the most important ones, we don't realise we are missing them, but we do... Its a fact :) :)

Childish post :) But cute one :) :)

Cheers,

Giribala said...

इश्क कीजे फिर समझिये याद आना क्या चीज़ है! होश वालों को खबर क्या ज़िन्दगी क्या चीज़ है :-)

Blasphemous Aesthete said...

@Mansi
many a times I too wonder the same thing. Someday I'll let you know, everyone who reads me.
Thank You :)

@Ria
Of Course.

@Tanvi
:)

@Giribala
बेहोशी में कुछ कहा सुनी हो गयी तो बड़ी आफत आन पड़ेगी ना | हम सूफी ही ठीक हैं |

suruchi said...

Wow...how can you weave magic every bloody time?:-)

I generally don't read Hindi posts...ashamed to say this but it requires a lot more effort...but I simply sailed through your lines...

Remembered some dialogues being spoken by Amitabh Bachchan in Silsila maybe...These lines deserve to be read out by someone like him...or perhaps you too...
These are not just meant to be read to oneself...but heard:-)

Beautifully melodic somehow:-)

Tanvi said...

Beautifully written and stroke a cord, as when I was in college ... and everyone around me would miss some or the other ... I would wonder ... how do they even find time to miss? I always said, I never miss anyone but I do remember them when there is nothing else on my mind.

however things have changed today. I miss a lot of thing. Most importantly my childhood.

Back to you post. Very well narrated. I also think there is a solace in writing and speaking in Hindi. Unfortunately I think hindi is not screen friendly and is hardly to read. Nonetheless, I loved it! :)

♡ from © tanvii.com

Always Happy said...

Anshul sahab, ishq mein doob gaye ho aap. Unka khayaal aapke dil mein hamesha rehta hoga jo aapko unhey yaad karney ki zaroorat hi nahi padthi hogi. Yaad tho unko kiya jaata hai jinko hum bhool jaathey hain.

Rahi baat Maa ki, sahi kehti hain veh. Unhey tho bas apney bachey ki aaawaz sunni hai chaahey koi aur baat karney ke liye rahey ya na rahey. Itna jaanna hi kaphi hai unke liye ki unka bacha theek hai.

very nice write up with a 'feel good' factor. Well done as usual.

Felicity said...

*smiles*

Deepika said...

Bachon ko yaad aur pyar karna to maa baap ka charitr hai... Kabhi kabhi hum bache to unko bhool jate hain par vo to kabhi nahi bhool. Humare liye puri duniya mein vo bhi hain par unki duniya hi hum hain...
Tum mano ya na mano yaad tumhe bhi aati hai...

Tanishka said...

To miss someone is just not in our hands... Sometimes we don't even realize but we are actually missing someone... Like while a casual conversation you might just happen to mention some good old friend whom you haven't seen for years now or while eating something it suddenly strikes you that my mom makes exactly the same dish or while wondering aimlessly you find two kiddos fighting and it brings a smile onto your face reminding you of your younger bro.... Memories are an inseparable part of our lives... We all might have different reasons but we all end up missing someone or the other in some or the other way... :)

aria said...

achcha kiya bata diya.. at least I'll never ask this question.. ;)

TheGirlAtFirstAvenue said...

When your mind is busy you dont have time to miss someone.. you only remember them in those short breaks that your mind takes...

and more than missing a person, i think, you miss the things that you used to do together with that person....
what you said is true to a certain extent. As long as we are happy, preoccupied and confortable with where we are, we dont really feel that something is missing but eventually the feelings do creep in... :)

Alka Gurha said...

Anshul my eyes are moist...I am right now waiting for my son to arrive for his semester break. The train is late.
I can only say that once u become a parent u will undestand the emotions of ur mother. And if u dont call her regularly I am not going to read ur posts. Ok?

Blasphemous Aesthete said...

@Suruchi
Thank you, thank you, thank you :)

@Tanvi
First of all, welcome here.
I too have wondered that I find my own hand writing more better than this, maybe the google font is to blame. I'll definitely look into this.
Thank you for appreciating.

@Always Happy
Kya baat kar rahe ho? Kab? Kaise? kaun? mujh ko nahi maloom? kaun ishq? :P

Thank you.

@Felicity
=) ear to ear

@Deepika
okay :P :)

@Tanishka
really? is that missing? Gosh!

@Aria
which question waise?

@Chandana
yeah, they do creepily creep in :P :)

@Alka
I am sure you are right Alka. Calling regularly ain't the question Alka, calling everyday is. I do call her regularly, like say after one days interval.
Am going home, to her, so now I wont need to call her at all, for a few months :)

maithili said...

I wish I had your power of "not missing" for some hours of the day!! ;)
something different I came across.. generally the blog world is full of post "miss you".."missing you" etc etc.. this is the first time I read someone saying "I don't know how to miss" :P

@always happy : sahi kaha..yaad toh unko karte hai jinhe bhool jaate hai... special log toh hamesha dil me rehte hai :)



















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HF said...

this is so beautiful and original...classic.

P.S: don't forget to call your Maa this Mother's Day(8th may)

Tweety said...

Well that is our mothers for you..:-) we might not remember them...we might not miss them...but their would be that one call in the night that will tell you..you are missed...beta did you have your dinner..did you take your meds...oh they are good...they are beautiful...just as beautiful as you write...loved it anshil :-D

♥ Solitaire ♥ said...

a bful piece on a mother's day...
Moms are certainly the best...they love u before u came in this world....and guys are all the same...they never understand what a mother means to them...they do ! but no one can ever go into that deth of unconditional love...

Tanishka said...

That is missing... Why else would you remember them all of a sudden.... :)

Blasphemous Aesthete said...

@Maithili
I always had this apprehension that I had a nut loose somewhere in my machinery. :P

@Hope
(Here, I finally shortened it to my convenience :) )
Thank you, I will.

@Tweety
Yes, they are :)
Who is anshil BTW :P :D

@Duchess
...and guys are all the same... they never understand what a mother means to them...
Is that an accusation I am reading? :P

@Tanishka
Thank you, thank you and a thousand more thank yous to you. I am one step closer to heaven, err nirvana now :)

Vivek said...

Hi Anshul,

A very Heart touching post , I can relate to your post , since My mom was here with me last month , she has to go home as "garmi" Suit nahi hoti mom ko ...
Missing mom these days ..MOM is the world to me.

Someone is Special said...

very beautifully written dude.. a heart touching post Anushul.. As usual you are rocking man..

PS: thanks for your comments on my post.. Very happy to receive a encouraging comment from you.. Thanks..

Someone is Special

Mystical Skeptical Me said...

Very thoughtful piece. I in fact always wonder that I may think of people, but why would they think of me? I mean, is there a reason to think of me or I am just a fleeting image that pops up when they see something. That phone part about Maa, even I was like that, now I somehow make sure I at least give her one missed call. :D Amazing writeup, touches the heart. :)

Drama Personified (R) said...

Aww le le Really enjoyed the translation. Miss karna itna acha bhi nahi hota believe. :)

Sidrah said...

that was beautiful! You're one good writer.

I need to stop missing someone, badly =/ uff.

Nikita said...

bahut bhavuk ho gayi hu main ye padne ke baad...

Yaad aana kisi ki....mujhse zyada acchi tarah kaun samajh payega...

lilangel said...

Lovely...:)

Arpit Rastogi said...

Nice Read. :)

Sonshu said...

Beautifuly written, ended up reading the whole thing in hindi only :) Hehe.

Lovely! :)

Joe said...

Mast hai bhai....
Yaad karne mein kya burai hai?dusron ko apni yaad dilane mein kya burai?Sabko yaad nhi rakh sakte,isiliye toh aajkal mobile,facebook etc...sabko sabki yaad dilate rehte hain :)

♥ Solitaire ♥ said...

not an accusation, you are made that way !! boys don't always know how you feel, I have been close with a boy for a long time now, so I can guess it, didn't mean to offend. tc:)

Beyond Horizon said...

Ahh! again a beautiful creation from your pen in Hindi :)

How can we really stop missing someone? No, I dont think so we ever can & also the anxious thoughts about whether they miss us or not.

शायद याद आना उनकी अच्छाई है, बस यही सोच कर संतुष्ट हो जाता हूँ, और उनसे अगली मुलाकात का इन्तेज़ार करता हूँ | Really nice

I have never lived a hostel life. Only once for study tour I had been away from home, and the apprehensive wait for the call from home. Call your Mom everyday, even if to say just a Hello & How are You? :)

chirag said...

apnao ki yad to hamesha aati hain
nice blog following it

chek out mine
http://iamhereonlyforu.blogspot.com

Sam B said...

I bestow you with this blog award cos I think ur blog is awesome. U totally deserve this :) http://samrandomrants.blogspot.com/2011/05/first-blog-award.html

Blasphemous Aesthete said...

@Vivek
Thanks buddy =)

@SIS
Welcome here, thank you.

@Mystical
Thank you, and welcome here. I call her instead of giving a miss call.

@R
aisa kya? tum kis ko miss kar rahi ho?

@Sidrah
Really? Whom are you missing? :P

@Nikita
=) Being in love, you understand it... may he be back very soon :)

@Lilangel
:)

@Arpit
Thank You

@Sonshu
Hindi ain't that tough to read, is it?

@Joe
Sahi baat. :)

@Duchess
:-) Okay

@Poonam
Everyday? Please tell these mobile operators to reduce the tariff a little bit more :P Just kidding :)

@Chirag
shayad :)
Welcome here

@Sam
Oh thank you, how gracious of you :)

Sunakshi said...

It happens with me often that I am reminded to actually prove my existence once in a blue moon at least and this makes me unpopular among my long distance friends.

We often get caught up in our busy life so much that 'no missing part' gets installed within us automatically. :)

But deep inside,there are memories we cherish and yes,they make us contact the people who touch our lives,if not often,then once in a month or two at least. :)

Anonymous said...

Where's the translation Sir?

Blasphemous Aesthete said...

@Sunakshi
:-) true. it could be more frequent too though.

@anonymous
See the third and fifth comment.

Blasphemous Aesthete said...

Thank you blogger, for that disappearing act.

@Sunakshi
True that, but that time limit could be less than two months too. :D

@Anonymous
The translation is comment number 5.

Punam said...

I almost missed this post - for the very reason that Suruchi mentioned. :) I am not so comfortable reading Hindi - takes a lot of time. But thanks for the translation.
Liked the story BUT BUT - call ur mom everyday every single day - IF this is not fiction. :)
And remembering equals missing, not completely, but to some extent. When you remember the good moments spent with someone, you get the feeling of reliving them again - like you said, you were waiting to meet her next - THAT is missing - a better word, yearning for someone. :) All the best!!

Angel said...

Writer like this line-First, the emotion called ‘missing’ was not programmed into me. Lucky you for not having that syndrome...me? that's my weakness , am always missing my hero, shameful but that's the truth.

By the way ,your looking forward of meeting her again ...yoooo you're already missing her!

eNiGmA said...

yaadon ka ye taana- baana jo yaha buna hai, kahin dur le jata hai... aur ek ajib sa sukun par saath hi me ek ajib sa kashmakash chod jata hai, kaha gaye wo din jab ye humari bhasha hui karti thi, kaha gaye wo din jab dil hindi me sochta aur juban hindi me bolti thi, angrez aise rangrez nikle, pure apne rang me dhaal gaye, and finally when we read something like this, we realize what we have been missing! and dude you have inspired me, you helped me reconnecting with this language again, I'm defintely am getting back to it, thanks :)

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