Saturday, January 22, 2011

मुकद्दमा (Trial)


(To all the readers who do not read hindi in its original script, I would be posting its transliteration as well as translation in the comments section, check them, if you please)

पलंग पर पड़े पड़े अब पसलियां भी कराहने लग पड़ी थीं| वहीँ सामने अलमारी के दरवाज़े पर एक मित्र का दिया हुआ पोस्टर कहता है ‘सफलता उन्ही की, जो आरम्भ कर पाएँ’| मन में ख़याल आया, समय बीता जा रहा है, उठने का एक जतन और करें|
पर्दा हटाने पर मालूम पड़ता है की आज तो सूरज चाचू भी मेरी तरह मुलायम रूइनुमा बादलों की रजाई ओढ़े सो रहे हैं | या शायद अपनी रौशनी को साथ लिए बादलों के पीछे कहीं प्रभात भ्रमण पर निकले हैं, और एक मैं हूँ जो इस गरम रजाई में ककून बनाये लेटा हुआ हूँ |
समय सारिणी के अनुसार तो इस समय वे अपनी मध्य कक्षा में होने चाहिए थे, परन्तु मुझे नहीं दिख रहे कहीं अपने सूरज चाचू ! कहीं बादलों के पीछे से क्षण भर के लिए कोई रोशनी सी निकाल कर ऐलान करती है कि ‘आये हैं, तुम्हारे सूरज चाचू आये हैं’| कहाँ? झूठ? आज तो उनकी भी ‘प्रोक्सी’ पकड़ी गयी | अब बताइए क्या सज़ा दें? अनुपस्थिति का कारण भी क्या देंगे? यातायात के साधन उपलब्ध नहीं थे? बादलों के दरमियाँ ‘ट्रेफिक जाम’ में फस गए? सात घोड़ों वाला रथ ऐसे ही दिया है क्या? ‘होर्सेपावर’ नाम की भी कोई चीज़ है की नहीं?
क्या फैसला सुनाया जाए, इसी बात पर मैं और मेरा मन विचार विमर्श कर ही रहे थे कि अचानक दरवाज़े पर दस्तक हुई | सहसा ठिठक उठा, ‘सूरज चाचू दरवाज़े से तो आ नहीं सकते, और वो भी दस्तक के साथ? अभी तो फैसला सुनाया भी नहीं है’ | कौन हो सकता है? उठ कर दरवाज़ा खोला तो बिस्तर की गर्मी खो बैठूँगा, और न खोला तो न जाने कौन सा सुसंयोग हाथ से निकल जाए| पर रजाई भी तो हाथ से निकल जायेगी| अजीब कशमकश है| मैं एक बार और खिडकी से आकाश की ओर ताकने लगा|
कितना समय बीता होगा उस पल को बीते हुए, जब वह खटखटाहट हुई थी? मुझे सोया हुआ सोच कर शायद चला गया होगा, जो भी था | अभी ध्यान मुकद्दमे पर लाने ही लगा था कि सहसा एक बार और, दरावाज़े पर आहात हुई| अब कुछ व्याकुलता बढ़ी | मोबाईल उठा कर देखा कि कहीं मेरी कक्षा से कोई सूचना न आई हो, जिसका दूसरा दूत दरवाजे पर प्रतीक्षा में खड़ा हो| कहीं मेरी भी तो...?
नहीं नहीं, मैंने किसी को कहा तो नहीं था| पर यहाँ यारी कुछ सज्जन लोगों से हुई है| दोस्ती निभाते हैं, चाहे कक्षा रुपी ग्रहण हो, या परीक्षा की अमावस, जुगनुओं की भांति उजाला बिखेरते रहते हैं| व्याकुलता कुछ और बढ़ी, मन में आया के एक दफा आवाज़ लगा के पूछ ही लेते हैं के कौन है जो इस समय कबाब में हड्डी बनने आया है, पूछ लूँ के क्या काम है, कह दूं के बाद में आना| शायद कोई दोस्त कक्षा में अनुपस्थित देख  खैरियत पूछने आया हो, कह दूं के सब ठीक है| पर क्या हो अगर बुरा समाचार सुनाने ही आया हो? क्या पता, आज किस मित्र का मेरे प्रति स्नेह अध्यापक महोदय को भी ज्ञात हो गया हो? कहीं आज मेरी भी प्रोक्सी पकड़ी गयी हो|
अब नयी मुसीबत आन पड़ी, कहाँ मुकद्दमे में न्यायाधीश बने अपना दंडादेश सुनाने वाले थे, और कहाँ अब आप ही किसी और के दंडादेश के भागी बन बैठे|
समक्ष खड़ी परिस्थिति को देख चेहरे और कानों में खून तेज़ी से दौड़ने लगा और गर्माहट लाने लगा| रजाई की गर्माहट का एहसास हालात की स्तभ्ता से मुझे उभारने लगा और दिमाग ने तर्क देकर  सहमे हुए मन को फुसलाना शुरू किया | ‘मोबाइल इन्बोक्स’ खाली है, दरवाजे के उस ओर जो भी है, उसने आवाज नहीं लगायी है, छात्रावास में भी चुप्पी सी है, मतलब अभी कोई वापिस लौट कर नहीं आया होगा| अतः दरवाजे पर जो कोई भी है, वह भी मेरी ही तरह आज यहाँ छात्रावास में अपनी उपस्थिति दे रहा है| शायद कुछ मांगने आया होगा, ‘प्रैक्टिकल फाइल’, या शायद नहाने की बाल्टी|
अब जान में कुछ जान आई| मस्तिष्क और तेज़ी से सोचने लगा| जल्दी ही निर्णय हो आया| न दरवाज़ा खुलेगा, और न ही आवाज़ लगेगी| ‘प्रोक्सी’ पकड़ी भी गयी हो तो क्या, जब तक यह दरवाजा बंद है, तब तक कोई भी बुरी खबर प्रवेश नहीं कर सकती| आज की सुबह मेरी है, और कोई भी फिक्र उसको मुझ से छीन नहीं सकेगी| एक फैसला पारित हुआ, और यह केस यहीं पर बंद|
अब तक मन भी थोडा बदल गया था, बादल भी कुछ घनेरे होते से जान पड़े| चाचू पर थोड़ी दया आई, शायद मन का वह भ्रम ही उनका मुकद्दमा लड़ने आया था|
फैसला हुआ, अगली बार ऐसी लापरवाही न करने की चेतावनी मिली, सूरज चाचू बाइज्ज़त बरी हुए, और मैं एक बार और रजाई के अंदर सुकून से सो गया||

40 comments:

Blasphemous Aesthete said...

Palang par pade pade ab pasliyaan bhi karaahne lag padi thi. Vahin saamne almaari ke darwaaje par ek mitr ka diya hua poster kehta hai, ‘safalta unhi ki jo aarambh kar paayein’. Mann mein khayaal aaya, samay beeta jar aha hai, uthne ka ek jatan aur karein.
Parda hataane par maloom padta hai ki aaj to sooraj chachu bhi meri tarah mulayam ruinuma baadlon kii rajaii odhe so rahe hain. Ya shayad apni roshni ko saath liye baadlon ke peeche kahin prabhaat bhraman par nikle hain, aur ek main hoon, jo is garam razai mein cocoon banaye leta hua hoon.
Samay saarini ke anusaar to is samay ve apni Madhya kaksha mein hone chahiye the, parantu mujhe nahi dikh rahe kahin apne sooraj chachu. Kahin baadlon ke peeche se kshan bhar ke liye koi roshni si nikal kar ailaan karti hai, ‘aaye hain, tumhare sooraj chachu aaye hain’. Kahaan? Jhooth? Aaj to unki bhi proxy pakdi gayi. Ab bataiye kya saza dein? Anupasthiti ka kaaran bhi kya denge? Yaatayat ke saadhan uplabdh nahi the? Baadlon ke darmiyaan traffic jam mein phans gaye? Horse power naam ki bhi koi cheez hai ke nahi?
Kya faisla sunaya jaaye, isi baat par mein aur mera man vichaar vimarsh kar hi rahe the ki achaanak darwaje par dastak hui. Sahsa thithak utha, ‘sooraj chachu darwaje se to aa nahi sakte, aur vo bhi dastak ke saath? Abhi to faisla sunaya bhi nahi hai’. Kaun ho sakta hai? Uth kar darwaza khola to bister ki garmi kho baithunga, aur na khola to na jaane kaun sa susainyog haath se nikal jaaye. Par rajai bhi to haath se nikal jayegi. Ajeeb kashmakash hai. Main ek baar aur khidki se akaash ki or taakne laga.
Kitna samay beeta hoga us pal ko beete hue, jab veh khatkhatahat hui thi? Mujhe soya hua soch kar shayad laut gaya hoga, job hi tha. Abhi dhyaan mukaddme par lane hi laga tha ki sahsa ek baar aur darwaje par aahat hui. Ab kuch vyakulta badhi. Mobile utha kar dekha ki kahin meri kaksha se to koi soochna na aayi ho, jiska doosra doot darwaze par prateeksha mein khada ho. Kahin mein bhi to…?
Nahi nahi, maine to kisi ko kaha bhi na tha. Par yahaan yaari sajjan lagon se hui hai. Dosti nibhaate hain, chaahe kaksha roopi graham ho, ya pareeksha ki amavas, jugnuon ki tarah ujaala bikherte rehte hain. Vyakulta kuch aur badhi, man mein aaya ke ek dafa awaaz laga ke pooch lein ke kaun hai jo is samay kabaab mein haddi banne aaya hai, pooch loon ke kaam kya hai, keh doon ke bad mein aana. Shayad koi dost hoga jo kaksha mein anupasthit dekh kar khairiat poochne aa gaya ho, keh doon sab theek hai. Par kya ho agar bura samachaar sunane hi aaya ho? Kya pata, aaj kis mitr ka mere prati sneh adhyapak mahodaya ko bhi gyaat ho gaya ho? Kahin aaj meri bhi proxy pakdi gayi ho.
Ab nayi musibat aan padi, kahaan mukaddme mein nyayadheesh bane apna dandadesh sunane vale the, aur kahan ab aap hi kisi aur ke dandadesh ke bhaagi ban baithe.
Samaksh khadi paristhiti ko dekh chehre aur kaano mein khoon tezi se daudne laga aur garmahat lane laga. Razai ki garmahat ka ehsaas haalat ki stabdhta se mujhko ubhaarne laga aur dimaag ne tark de kar sehme hue mann ko fuslana shuru kiya. Inbox khaali hai, darwaze ke us or job hi hai, usne awaaz nahi lagayi hai, hostel mein bhi chuppi si hai, matlab abhi tak koi vapis laut ke nahi aaya hoga. Atah, darwaze par job hi hai, veh bhi meri tarah aaj yahaan chaatravaas mein apni upastithi de raha hai. Shayad kuch maangne aaya hoga, practical file, ya shayad nahaan ki baalti.
Ab jaan mein kuch jaan aayi. Mastishq aur tezi se sochne laga. Jaldi hi nirnaya ho aaya. Na darwaza khulega, aur na hi avaaz lagegi. Proxy pakdi bhi gayi ho to kya, jab tak yah darwaza band hai, tab tak koi bhi buri khabar pravesh nahi kar sakti. Aaj ki subah meri hai, aur koi bhi fikr usko mujh se cheen nahi sakegi. Ek faisla parit hua, aur yeh case yahin par band.
Ab tak man bhi thoda badal gaya tha, baadal bhi kuch aur ghanere hote jaan pade. Chachu par thodi daya aayi, shayad mann ka veh brhama hi unka mukaddma ladne aya tha.
Faisla hua, agli baar aisi laaparwaahi na karne ki chetavani mili, sooraj chachu baizzat bari hue, aur mein ek baar aur razai ke ander sukoon se so gaya.

Neeha said...

I boost that I can speak hind fluently,sometimes I understand that I don't even know the alphabets perfectly.

Tanvi said...

Anshul.... my god! OMG! Thats the only thing coming to my mind right now... the hindi translation is also difficult because the words are that high fundoo.. :P :P
Your hindi is awesome.. and and the end is nice... sleepy pie!

Cheers,

Blasphemous Aesthete said...

Here is the translation:


Lying idly here on the bed, even my bones had started to crackle now. On the door of the almirah, a poster gifted by one of my friends reads aloud to my eyes, ‘The secret of success is getting started’. The clock’s ticking, thought passes along with the moment. Let’s make another effort to get up and out of bed.
The moment I pull the curtains, I realize that just like myself, Uncle ‘Sunny’ is also sleeping draped in the fluffy feathery clouds. Or maybe, he’s out for a morning stroll with his ‘sunshine’. And here’s me, snuggling in the tight cocoon of the warm quilt.
Uncle Sunny should be in his mid day quarter sky according to the time table, but he’s absconding. I can’t see him. From somewhere behind the murky clouds, a faint light shout out for an instant, proclaiming ‘Oh he’s here, your Uncle is here, present Sir!’. Where? Liar! I gotcha uncle! Today I have caught your proxy. Now would you please explain yourself? What is the punishment? What reasons do you have? No mediums of commuting today? What is that seven horse chariot for? Talk of horse power huh? Caught in the cloudy traffic, hmm?
While me and my ‘Self’ were engrossed looking at every aspect of this case, determined to give a fair judgment, there was a knock on the door. Astounded, I wondered, ‘this can’t be uncle Sunny, not this time and that too with a knock on the door? I haven’t even passed my decree yet.’ Who could it be? If I get out of the bed, then I basically loose the ‘bed’ feeling, and if I don’t open the door, well an opportunity that might have decided to knock on my door might just fly away. Time’s slipping from my hand, and so is the quilt. Perplexed, I shift my gaze back to the skies.

Blasphemous Aesthete said...

How much time has passed after that knock on the door? Whoever it was, he might have returned, believing me to be fast asleep. No sooner I tried to pay attention to the trial at hand, there was a knock, again. Now I got jitters. I looked at my mobile phone, nope, no messages from the classroom. Could the knock be from an ambassador from the admin, just to have the pleasure of telling me the bad news and watch my face go white? Is it possible that my…?
No, no, that isn’t possible. I did not ask anybody to do it. But then, I have made real good friends here, caring friends. They live by the word ‘friendship’, no matter it is the eternally boring lectures or the doomsday at the examination hall. They just lighten up the whole scenario. A horde of questions just bombarded my numbing mind, ‘Should I call out once to ask who it is spoiling my blissful moments?’, ‘Should I ask what errands he’s running?’, ‘Tell him to eff off?’ Maybe he’s some friend who might be dropping in to check out noticing my absence from the classroom. But what if? If he’s really the ambassador from admin? What if… my proxy was caught?
Now am in a mess. There I was, being the good judge, going to do justice to Uncle Sunny single handedly, and here I am now, stuck in a similar situation, thrown at the mercy of some other judge.
The rush of blood to my face and ears brought me back from the numbness I was experiencing. The warmth of the quilt then took over as the rational mind starting cajoling the petrified mind with reason. The mobile inbox is empty, whosoever is on the other side of the door hasn’t called out to me even once, there is no noise or hustle in around the hostel, which means, nobody has returned from the lectures yet. That means that the person on the other side is probably another pal, missing in action at the lectures and is gracing the occasion by his unwanted presence right mow. He might be looking for my practical file, or maybe the bucket.
Now I was starting to feel a little better, and mind started racing again, the same mind that was literally limping moments ago. The decision was quick. No one is opening the door, no one’s answering to any calls made from the other side of the door. As long as the door is closed securely, no bad news can penetrate to spoil the mood of the morning. This is my morning, and I ain’t allowing anybody to take it from me. Case solved, file close!
Mood had changed to soft and mellow by now and the clouds were bearing a tinge of black. I felt a soft corner for Uncle Sunny now; I think he had sent his defendant in the form of doubt to fight for him in my court.
Decision’s made, he’s being let off with a minor rebuke. I am going back into feeling the warmth of the cocoon I had built up overnight, and the court is adjourned.

Always Happy said...

subah ho gayi anshul...chanda maama so gaye, sooraj chachu jaagey..

Your hindi is soooooooooooo good. It is nice to see someone with such strong hold of angrezi aur hindi.

Deepika said...

Oh wow! The laziness at its best :P
the hindi script is actually great and the translation is equally great... Btw proxy pakadi gyi to kya hoga? And well said, jab tak darwaza band hai koi buri khabar andar nahi aa sakti :P

Anonymous said...

good one!!
i couldn't read the hindi one quite difficult for me,the english writing was really good.
keep it up!

Blasphemous Aesthete said...

@Neeha
Don't stop using or writing hindi. I know a person who forgot how to write in hindi due to excessive typing and scribbling in english. Now he needs to go to nursery class just to learn hindi alphabet construction. Though he can still read hindi.

@Tanvi
:) Thank You.

@Always Happy
I am trying.

@Anonymous
thank you.

@Deepika
proxy pakdi gayi to teacher pe depend karta hai, kuch aise hi jane dete hain, kuch semester bhar ke liye bhi rok lete hain. :P

yasha said...

Applauds!! Excellent command on Hindi and equally good post.Keep up the good work Anshul.

♥ Duchess ♥ said...

ha ha ha ha
It reminded me totally of the BAAL BHARTI book in our school !

Darwaza band rakhna !

Tanishka said...

My god Anshul you are simply superb... I bow to thee... What command over hindi and an equally wonderful translation... I Super Like it... :)

Ph_ said...

When I open the post I was like how am I going to read this but then I read the foremost line and get to read translated version of it *yeeyyy*
Awesome command over the language .

Purba said...

Had to read the English translation Loved the poetic lilt you gave to a common malady called laziness. My daughter will so relate to it.

And btw you have my vote.

Blasphemous Aesthete said...

@Yasha
Thank You.

@Duchess
Guess I never read that, in which class was it?

@Tanishka
:) but please don't bow lady, this gesture is for us. :P

@Princess
:) As I said, I'm trying.

@Purba
Of course Ma'm, thank you, you have my vote too.

But laziness a malady? No, that's what we innovate and invent for, free time to be lazy.

Yougal said...

अच्छा है| बढ़े चलो |

the feeling lioness said...

is that doggie up there who is saying all this?haw haw

hope and love said...

beautiful post.. i dont know much hindi.. i loved the english version..

Blasphemous Aesthete said...

@YD
hehe

@TFL
See who's howling now.

@hope and love
Thank You.

Sayak said...

Arrey wah! This was a warm post, in spite of the absence of the sun.

JP said...

सुन्दर! आप अपने बिस्तर पर रजाई में लेटे हों, मष्तिष्क खुल गया हो पर ऑंखें नहीं; ऐसी परिस्थिति में कोई भी तर्क या कारण आपको नहीं हरा सकता| मुक़द्दमा कोई भी क्यों ना हो, सुनवाई किसी भी चीज़ की क्यों ना हो, जीत आपकी है|

:)

Alka Gurha said...

Your command over Hindi is commendable...The picture is so apt. Reminds me of the song...

Dil dhoondta hai phir wahi phursat ke raat din..baithe rahe...

Voted.

mk said...

nice thoughts coming out from bunking the class...
may be, this cold weather, and lazy bones had little effect on ur creative mind!!>..

interesting and a little different, yet funny !
a nice read!

sm said...

nice story

Rek said...

ठंडी के मौसम में चद्दर ओढ़ के सोना का मज़ा ही कुछ और है ....बहुत अच्छा लगा आपका लेखन ....उम्मीद है की येह अल्फाज़ सही है|

inquisitive-life said...

Strong Sentence formation...

I like it...

Chandrika Shubham said...

Interesting. :)
I like the ending lines. :)

Blasphemous Aesthete said...

@Sayak
Its cozy in here, in the bed.

@JP
पर यहाँ तो हार गए सूरज चाचू से| पर पुरस्कार तो मेरा ही रहा| सराहने के लिए धन्यवाद |

@Alka
Zara nazar utha ke dekho, agle mod par zindagi khadi hai.

@mk
:) Thank You.

@sm
Thank You, precisely.

@Rek
चद्दर? रजाई का आनंद ले कर देखिये, गर्मी में भी रजाई ओढ़ के सोने को मन ललचाएगा :P

@Inquisitive
Thank You.

@Chandrika
My pleasure. :)

SEPO said...

i stopped at your blog a while ago, only to find no new post!!

now i know the reason!! wow. so much hardwork here. i can actually see the amount of effort you have put in this post dude! awesome work.

loved it.

i have been meaning to do a hindi post for a long time but i suck at it. your effort has given me some motivation.

kudos buddy!
keep rocking!

Beyond Horizon said...

THAT S SUPER COOL!!!

First time ever I read the Hindi one rather than hopping to English translation directly

your Hardwork...reflects from the post :)

Mehak said...

great, i loved this!! totally relate to the whole concept and seriously, thumbs up for the accurate translation! :)

Matangi Mawley said...

Translation is great.... but I liked the original hindi script better.... your hindi is awesome! I am reading something in Hindi after a very long time... :) after my 12th in fact... it was still a great pleasure reading it! :D

lol... proxy part was really sweet bit of thought! :D

brilliant!

Blasphemous Aesthete said...

@Sepo
I'll be waiting for the hindi post. :)

@Beyond Horizon
Thank You!

@Matangi
hehe thank you.

Neeha said...

Excellent translation..
Keep it up..

S said...

after so long i read something so long in hindi :P

It is AMAZINNNNNNGGGG...
piece of literature i say :)

Vivek Chamoli said...

Hi Anshul,

Nice post ! :) Really like the way you described the scene amazing, picture of it comes live.

Take care.

Sunakshi said...

You're awesome.the manner in which one hooks up to your English stories,the same impact your Hindi ones give.wow! :)

Btw the pictures resembles my pet,who is a pug too.he looks exactly the same in his blanket.LOL

aria said...

hehe.. sweet.. very witty.. that cute picture of the pug and Hindi script made me read this..

am really curious to know.. if you could figure later who had been knocking.. :D

Blasphemous Aesthete said...

@Neeha
Thank You. :)

@S
It's not even close to literature, I insist. But thank you.

@Vivek
Thank You.

@Sunakshi
:O great. I never owned dogs small enough to be accommodated on beds and in bedsheets. You've got a living toy who'll lick you back when you kiss him. :P

@Aria
umm what if I told you that such incident never happened?

Sunakshi said...

Oh hello..he has his own lil couch.we don't accommodate him on our beds either lol :P

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