Friday, December 17, 2010

Unfinished Lines.



Okay, am convinced. There was time and now it’s past its expiry date. I am not going to finish them, so am just dumping them out here in open, if somebody does it for me. So feel free to add lines to them and let me know the rest.
These are lines that started as status messages, and then curled up into few lines, then as prospective posts, and now they are but unfinished lines. Some of them may be complete in themselves, but I refuse to call any of my poems as poetry. Not even the ones I have published under the label ‘Attempted Prose’.
Here we go with a few finished/unfinished lines:

As the wind strikes my bosom, and passes me by,
We negotiate consequences, of what becomes of us,
Should the wind stop, die out, and lie there cold,
or should it carry me away, dissuading me from pursuit?
*******
The emotion mirrors itself in words,
And reading the words is gifted to few,
To draw conclusions from a minute talk,
He might be wrong, but who would tell.
******
I will sing the dirge,
While my city shall burn,
Like a shadow I shall fade,
For my day is done.
******
Cut through my layers, hack and slice,
I am the onion, you be my knife.
My wounds would make you cry,
But at least, 'tis worth a try!!
******
To every girl out there, listen up close!
When everyone complements you for being so cool,
When they say you set them on fire,
And that you invoke their desire?
Don't be flattered, coz I'm tempted to say to all of them...
LIAR, LIAR, LIAR!!

You look good when you look good,
And you look bad when you look bad.
Expect from me,
Nothing more, no less!!
******
From the abyss of darkest trenches,
there I now see a halo sublime,

In the darkness of the hollow oceans,
there I now see a shimmer, a ray of light,

Don't hold me down oh gravity,
its time I paid my dues,

With wings of hope as I climb,
to see the skies azure....
******
Sleep before it stops to rain,
sleep before its summer again,
sleep before the dawn breaks,
sleep before you wake!
******
First time to taste it,
second time to test it,
Thrid time to savour it,
Fourth time... nothing happened!
Darn!
******
They call me a bastard when they are no good,
they fein me like I have nothing right,
they fear me for being so wretched and cruel,
who are they to determine my plight?
*(I don’t remember writing this one)
******
END


37 comments:

A S said...

hey!
wow! good , loved all of them :)

Beyond Horizon said...

Oh come on...most of them is complete :)
would like to try on the second one... The emotion mirrors itself in words... May drown deep or take you high as flight of birds... Reading the words is gifted to few... Even if few,they never lose the hue... To draw conclusions from a minute talk... Difficult,but not trying would be a shock... He might be wrong,but who would tell... Expressions must be strong... For an ever-lasting tale!!!

Just a try...hope its complete now :)

Sourav C. Pandey said...

Wonderful thoughts.

Out of all the posts I've read on your blog Anshul, I liked and felt these lines the most and the best:

"They call me a bastard when they are no good,
they fein me like I have nothing right,
they fear me for being so wretched and cruel,
who are they do determine my plight?"

Btw, will there be a 'do' or 'to' in the last line?
Will be sharing this thought. Keep writing!

Ria said...

Wow!! Those were some beautifully written lines.

Blasphemous Aesthete said...

@A.S.
Thank you.

@Beyond Horizon
If you think it is complete, then so be it.
Nice interpretation.

@Sourav
Typo corrected. Thank you for pointing it out.

@Ria
Thank you.

Princess said...

Somethings are better incomplete I guess .....
WOW !
I liked many but this one is the best : *With wings of hope as I climb,
to see the skies azure....*
They are going to be copied in my journal , only if it is okay ? That is with a please of course :D
Liked the post .....

Enchanta said...

"I will sing the dirge,
While my city shall burn,
Like a shadow I shall fade,
For my day is done."


Excellent lines. Realistic, optimistic and striking.

Always Happy said...

Hey, they are so very well written lines...realistic, witty and brilliant. Are they incomplete???

My favourite is :
From the abyss of darkest trenches,
there I now see a halo sublime..........With wings of hope as I climb,to see the skies azure....

I also, like the lines about the LIARS who compliment the girl!

Overall, WOW!

Blasphemous Aesthete said...

@Princess
It's okay. I don't mind. :P

@Enchanta
Thank You

@Always Happy
hehe thank you.

Madhu said...

this was just too good..

the last one takes the cake..:) :)

MangoMan said...

liked the ones towards the start. :)

Deepika Vasudeva said...

some lines are meant to be incomplete and yes, they are perfect the way they are... fabulous work. and please don't edit them.. they are beautiful this way...:)

Saumya said...

most of them I found complete!!!

I liked :
Don't hold me down oh gravity,
its time I paid my dues,
With wings of hope as I climb,
to see the skies azure....

You look good when you look good,
And you look bad when you look bad.
Expect from me,
Nothing more, no less!!

They call me a bastard when they are no good,
they fein me like I have nothing right,
they fear me for being so wretched and cruel,
who are they to determine my plight?

Blasphemous Aesthete said...

@Madhu
Thank You.

@Mango Man
:)

@Deepika Vasudeva
I won't, thank you.

@Saumya
:) Thank You for appreciating.

Alka Gurha said...

I have never been able to weave my thoughts in a poetic manner..
You look good when you look good,
And you look bad when you look bad.
Expect from me,
Nothing more, no less!
Honest thoughts..

Tanishka... said...

Complete or incomplete poetry is simply not my cup of tea.... :D

Man you call those incomplete... They all are well written and just perfect... :)

My fav:
To every girl out there, listen up close!
When everyone complements you for being so cool,
When they say you set them on fire,
And that you invoke their desire?
Don't be flattered, coz I'm tempted to say to all of them...
LIAR, LIAR, LIAR!!

You look good when you look good,
And you look bad when you look bad.
Expect from me,
Nothing more, no less!!

Loved it a lot.... :)

nOt anyone you know said...

i am going thru a bad writer's phase. someday i might have something to add. i wish and hope you add onto them =)

take care.

Salman Saeed said...

What time should I come to take a Literature class from you? :P

Tanvi said...

I read it yesterday but was too drowsy to comment :P

the fourth one is very nice... :)
Those lines are beautiful anshul.. I prefer them to be unfinished :)

Cheers,

Blasphemous Aesthete said...

@Alka Gurha
Thank You.
But you do have an edge in your writing.

@Tanishka
:) It isn't my cup of tea either.

@Bhavika
yes absolutely, but first, write something. Hope you get out of this phase soon.

@Salman Saeed
If you are hell bent on killing your appetite for literature, you are any time welcome.

@Tanvi
:)

sakhii•• said...

wow wow!!..they are amazingg!!
Cut through my layers, hack and slice,
I am the onion, you be my knife.
My wounds would make you cry,
But at least, 'tis worth a try!!
awesome!! :D
nice layout too!

Punam said...

I will sing the dirge,
While my city shall burn,
Like a shadow I shall fade,
For my day is done.

And my day is done,
But I am not someone
Who shall cast away
Another beautiful day.

And so, wait I shall
For a new dawn to break
And the smoke shall disappear
Revealing a new world.

In this new world,
There shall be no strife,
My dusk will be my bride
And we shall see the Dawn.

Every single day,
I shall wake up and pray.
May the seasons change.
Let the love remain.

~Punam

Blasphemous Aesthete said...

@Sakhii
Thank You

@Punam
You just bent it from darkness to light. Awesome work. Thank You for doing this.

Regards,
Blasphemous Aesthete

Bikramjit said...

Wow Wish i was as talented as this and could write such beautiful prose...

loved all of them as much as i could understand ...

Bikram's

JAGDISH BALI said...

Nice lines. I loved to go through.

aria said...

they don't seem incomplete.. some of em are really 'thoughtful' .. so perhaps you wished to give em more thought and elaborate..

Blasphemous Aesthete said...

@Bikramjit
And I thought they were plain english. Thank you nevertheless.

@Jagdish Bali
Thank You.

@Aria
If I could, I would, but the thoughts are a bit volatile, and I was bad at chemistry.

Alcina said...

As the wind strikes my bosom, and passes me by,
We negotiate consequences, of what becomes of us,
Should the wind stop, die out, and lie there cold,
or should it carry me away, dissuading me from pursuit?
Pursuit of the life untold unsaid.
The journey each foot feels like a fresh step.
Each telling a story of its own.
Bound in the paperback of our soul.
***********************
The emotion mirrors itself in words,
And reading the words is gifted to few,
To draw conclusions from a minute talk,
He might be wrong, but who would tell.
If it may be right even.
The frivolous merriment of the moment,
a sad news that bygone the ears.
Each knitting a story full-fledged.
Completing the vast ocean of life,
with drops so serene.
*********************
I will sing the dirge,
While my city shall burn,
Like a shadow I shall fade,
For my day is done.
New dawn will emerge,
a powerful me shall be seen.
With a struggle to bring back,
the once upon a time golden world again.
Lyre i would play once again.
Happiness shall spread,
and no one remains dismayed.
***************
Cut through my layers, hack and slice,
I am the onion, you be my knife.
My wounds would make you cry,
But at least, 'tis worth a try!!
To bring back the lost love,
i shall see you searching.
To reach my core it may take you eternity.
So you know i am your onion,
You are being my knife,
Cutting through my layers,
hacking me through and stacking each slice.
***********************
To every girl out there, listen up close!
When everyone complements you for being so cool,
When they say you set them on fire,
And that you invoke their desire?
Don't be flattered, coz I'm tempted to say to all of them...
LIAR, LIAR, LIAR!!

You look good when you look good,
And you look bad when you look bad.
Expect from me,
Nothing more, no less!!
(this is a guy's take and shall be that :)
*****************
From the abyss of darkest trenches,
there I now see a halo sublime,

In the darkness of the hollow oceans,
there I now see a shimmer, a ray of light,

Don't hold me down oh gravity,
its time I paid my dues,

With wings of hope as I climb,
to see the skies azure....
( this is meant to be this way)
*******************
Sleep before it stops to rain,
sleep before its summer again,
sleep before the dawn breaks,
sleep before you wake!
Because there shall be no wonders,
with open eyes to dream,
of the never happening realm.
Subsiding the laughter,
you will be advised and ruled.
To become the machine or just a tool.
Be awake in your dreams,
you shall see the rains.
Awake in the dreams,
the kingdoms shall take shape.
******************
First time to taste it,
second time to test it,
Third time to savour it,
Fourth time... nothing happened!
Darn!
(this seems to be a personal tasting,testing and savoring and it shall be so as it is)
******************
They call me a bastard when they are no good,
they fein me like I have nothing right,
they fear me for being so wretched and cruel,
who are they to determine my plight?
(My words are finished :P )

Each of your creation is a marvel in itself and these unfinished lines are like the tree leaves who want to grow more but alas have to go with the wind because there shall be no more growing up :)

P.S.-Sorry for boring you with my add-ons :P

Blasphemous Aesthete said...

Well am much amused with what I shared here and how you all lovely folks have contributed to it. Why would I be bored? I like them, they render my lines a fresh perspective.

Thank You Alcina, for spending time and dwelling thoughts on each one of them.

Bikramjit said...

yeah they are plain english jsut shows how taelnted i am or how DUMB i am

Bikram's

River said...

The discarded fragments of your mind. Some of them don't look that bad. :)

Tweety said...

Wow anshul..do you really call this incomplete???? They were perfect...though I would say I am a bit partial to the second and the last one...all are great...

Blasphemous Aesthete said...

@Bikramjit
Talent, my friend, knows no language. And trust me, you have it, just like you have eyes. And if I was to comment on what you just said about yourself? I'd say, "Stop Lying"

@River
I would not consider them bad, little or more. No thoughts are bad. Its just the mood. And its my constant endeavour to improve, so, I'll improve.

@Tweety
Thank You.

A Restless Mind With A Sensitive Heart! said...

Lovely lones BA! Some sensitive and some, well in your face types!

like this one especially-

Cut through my layers, hack and slice,
I am the onion, you be my knife.
My wounds would make you cry,
But at least, 'tis worth a try!!

Anonymous said...

Superb stuff.

Ankita Ghosh said...

Chanced upon your blog today. Congratulations on writing so very well!!

I worked on the last one, and gave it a name too...

Hope you like it.

Absolved Delusion

They call me a bastard when they are no good,
They feign me like I have nothing right,
They fear me for being so wretched and cruel,
Who are they to determine my plight?

Masked intruders in my city of joy
Hopeless raucous to songs of rage
Conniving artists, slaves of ploy
Invade my world in glamorous sage

I hope the sight dims slowly away
Far from the vision of my horizon
For I want to live another day
Still breathe in the hope of another dawn

I bid you good bye, you fair weather sycophants
I shall no more await your footsteps this time
There will be some who can look beyond my freckled pants
And to my heart, lend the prime.

Their sinful mouth that named me names,
Their judgments that proved me wrong
Their snide remarks at the cruel games
I played unto me to save the throng

Nah! The world is too petty
To know how much I loved and cared
Friends, hah! Friends, cajoling and pretty
Just so long as the storms are forbeared

It’s over now, the giving song
All remains is a discovery, now recent
Of self, my, mine and own
Of a justice, long due like the moon’s crescent.

Ankita Ghosh said...

Here is the next one:


Be Wary, Heart!

To every girl out there, listen up close!
When everyone compliments you for being so cool,
When they say you set them on fire,
And that you invoke their desire?
Don't be flattered, coz I'm tempted to say to all of them...
LIAR, LIAR, LIAR!!

You look good when you look good,
And you look bad when you look bad.
Expect from me,
Nothing more, no less!!
And that is as true as I can be!

When the heads turn as you walk
It’s not always with a longing, but sometimes a smirk
A rudeness that follows your steps
To decipher you in cheap disgrace

The wind in your hair
And your eyes so blue
Are the half-truths that see beyond you’ll know
The nasty treatment that you might be subjected to tomorrow

High stride steps, hurrying men
Who have no time to stop in the rain
Would never know beauty from anguish
Would never learn to think beyond, “What a dish!”

Agonised and painful memories, they lurk
Their stare can sometimes make you feel naked, stark!
Not always is it the flattering enough
To be misguided to believe that this could be love

Hark! You hear the monsters groan
Listen to the growl from the chasms of the diabolic zone
They lurk with words, the same for every dame
They come up with lines, oft’ used and so lame

Employ caution before giving in to these howling winds
For you never know what rests behind the face of these charming fiends
Not all can be trusted, not all are true
But then there must be some, the opposite, the few

Learn to judge the rights from the immoral
See beyond the face, the skin, and the croaking coral
For there is one, always, the true, the honest
There is one who can only add to your best

And once you find him, never let him go
Once you see the truth, never seek beyond
For the chasm will forever be filled with those
Loveless, lustful, men to abhore!


PS: I have added this piece to my blog (including the first ten lines as composed by you and attributing the same to you.) If you mind, I will be happy to remove the lines from my blog. Do let me know!

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