Friday, December 24, 2010

Santa Is coming to town.

Okay Santa, here’s the deal. You get me a packet full of chocolates and I promise to share a few with you. Just between you and me, we won’t tell the elves about this.
I’ll gift you a turban, and then you can be Santa Singh along with Santa Claus. Then together we’ll do that ‘Ho Ho Ho’ okay? That reminds me how your belly heaves as you laugh. Let’s try belly dancing, you might put Shakira to shame.
What do I want? Well, it’s been a long time since I saw snowfall happening in my area owing to what they call global warming. We could arrange for some snowflakes falling around this time on Christmas. I know you have plenty at the North Pole, why not get some. I assure you, no one would say it behind your back that Santa wetted his ride.
Umm yeah, I have all things in place, and I know that you’ll be getting all big and good gifts for me, just one request, keep the gifts near the fireplace. Why always follow modus operandi? Don’t take the pain of packing them all in that little lone sock. And still if you insist on doing that as a part of ritual, mail me beforehand so I can arrange for many socks, as many as you like. Now come on, I can do that for you, after all you’d be driving that sleigh all the way from North Pole and I don’t want you to leave disappointed that there wasn’t much space left.
I haven’t been a very bad boy this year, I can tell that because I cannot remember being bad. Punishments? The teachers can be such sadists, you know all that, I didn’t do anything, they framed me. And I know my name is numbered 9,18,31,801 in the good list and is written in original hand. Say, I sneaked into the database. But that doesn’t count as mischief? Its curiosity!
And I am almost a complete engineer now, and I think it’s cool. Do you hire BTW and would you really pay? I can be a snowman you know, engineers can do any sort of job, and we’re trained in versatility, that’s how we survive even on the North Pole.
Bring with yourself, Aurora Borealis to the tropics, just for one night. I’d love to see my neighborhood sky covering up in colorful blankets of lights and sounds. Don’t worry about satellites, they might probably be busy looking at far more important areas like the capital, or the Capitol. How’s this? Snowfall in daytime, by the evening the earth has a blanket of snow. Then in the night, first the light show and then, a blissful sky, no moons please.
Keep yourself warm and cozy while you travel, listening old man? I understand why you enter through the chimney, so that you can warm your butts on the fizzling spent coal, but trust me, either work out pretty hard and get trim or get in through the door, there’s absolutely no way you can reach inside from my chimney. It’s not of brick, but of steel, that too tapers as it goes up. And it’s lined black with coal on the inside. I’ll keep the doors open.
And if you need an extra hand, this Christmas, consider me in. On any other day, you’ll need to pay me a decent salary. Plus, I need transportation, on that classy reindeer ride of yours. What have you named it anyway?
On a serious note, Santa, or Nicholas to be more precisely addressing to the Santa Claus, I don’t think I’d need anything as a gift. I’ll need to earn it. All what I have asked, might not be within human reach, but then are you a human? (You were, but what now?) And who hates fiction? Not me. I just want one thing right now as I can think of. YOU, keep rocking, and let there be no dearth of beautiful people in this amazing world. It’s amazing, isn’t it, sometimes white, sometimes green, sometimes wilting brown and orange, sometimes vivid with blooming blossoms and misty sometimes. So are the people here, You and me, moody as many might deny to be, but all are, in bits and pieces, and wonderful as a whole. I wish you best of luck, and I will fly this wish list to you on a private plane(No, not the one in the picture below, the design’s classified). God Speed to it, and God speed, to you. As for me, I would love to see smiles, on known and unknown faces. And guess what, I want this jet to have crash landing right into your porch, that’s why I did not put in any wheels.
Thank You R, for this, hope I wasn’t very bad at it.

Yours truly*(Conditions Apply)

Blasphemous Aesthete.

P.S. Investing in engineers is highly susceptible to laziness fits and bouts of uncreative productions Read the offer document carefully before investing, and frame the offer document carefully if you have a chance.
P.P.S In case you want to make your own plane for a personal request, head over here (link). No, I ain’t revealing my design. Just a clue, it looks like The Seaduck from TailSpin.


Always Happy said...

Hey ANSHUL, I Hope Santa listens to you and is kind to you and fufills your wishes. That's such a nice wish that you ask of Santa- to bring smiles on known and unknown faces.

Santa's reindeer is called RUDOLPH.

Design of your plane is good. well done.

Merry Christmas and a very happy new year to you.

Always Happy

SaJ said...

Haha, Nice.
Present for you. Enjoy. :)

What santa really does while you're asleep

Beyond Horizon said...

Ho...Ho...may the santa claus or yours santa singh gift your wishes filled with hilarity...Thanks for making me smile :)
I remember yours complexity filled post about aliens...would like to inform am still waiting for them to land on my terrace...and will convey your message...lets see what happens...for now waiting for Santa Claus...but dont have you said will keep the door open for his arrival...if he comes at your home first as you live in much cooler convey my message...I am waiting for him too ;)

anyways Merry Christmas and Happy New Year :)

Alka Gurha said...

Naughty and nice can go together...You have a way with words.
A throaty ho ho ho might not suit a slim trim Santa ...

Meher said...

Its cute. Believing in Santa and asking him to be good to you and employ you. Nice read.

AS said...


hey! that was really very creative and interesting!

aria said...

heh.. enjoyable read :) loved the PS and PPS..

Rià said...

That was an interesting post for sure...hope Santa is listening. :D

Unknown said...

hehehe, this is such a sweet post. It made me laugh from start to finish. On a serious note, I hope you do get all that you are wishing for. :)
Merry X-mas! I wish it snowed here.. :/

Vagabond said...

YOU made me happpy!!!! =D

*a blissful sky, no moons please.*

Tanishka... said...

Merry xmas Anshul.... Hope santa is listening to you and grants all your wishes...

Raj said...

expect you to ask him for something as extraordinary and wonderful as that.

Punam said...

That was sooooo funny!! Enjoyed reading it. Whoever would have thought of asking Santa for a job!!

And I love the template with birds flying all over.

Alcina said...

Something for you to wish you a merry christmas :)

Click Here

Ph_ said...

Firstly , May the smiles on known and unknown faces be ever lasting . Amen to every wish ( including the snow , impossible but still.. thats what you get when you're fan of winter :S ) .
Nice post yet again =)

sm said...

nice pic
merry christmas

Deepika Vasudeva said...

wow.. this one is great... naughty or nice?.. umm.. can i have option for both?
and i want a plane too.. even that paper plane will do..
Yours truly*(Conditions Apply)

BTW Merry Christmas.. may that smile on your face stays forever.

Vivek said...

First of all wish you A Merry Christmas :).

Nice post , truely your trademark :),
And nice Aero - Plane ..Did it fly ?

Once I made not like this but the normal one and it never came back went higher and higher ;).

Take care.
And Enjoy winter :)

Blasphemous Aesthete said...

@Always Happy
No I did not build that plane. The one I designed is closed source. Thank you and merry Christmas.

I think I am saved, he'll go sober from my house. No beer, no alcohol here.
Merry Christmas.

@Beyond Horizon
Hehe you are still waiting for them? Well don't be too serious, I am sure they'll do their homework before trying to look for me. But just in case, do maintain vigil.
And merry Christmas.

Oh no, I wasn't talking of a slim Santa. I was saying that Santa would do a better belly dance when he has a bigger and better size of belly as compared to Shakira.
Merry Christmas.

You too are into engineering aren't you? Be on a lookout for potential recruiters, its a bad bad good world. :P
Merry Christmas.

Thank You and Merry Christmas.

:) Merry Christmas.

Yep He is! So make your wish.
Merry Christmas.

Someday, I might snow there too. Times are changing. And glad that you enjoyed it.
Merry Christmas.

=) Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

is it? its just simple needs.
Merry Christmas.

Thank You and merry Christmas.

Thank You. Its an honour. Merry Christmas.

:) Merry Christmas to you.

:) Its not mine. Merry Christmas.

:) Of course you can be both. Merry Christmas.

The one I made? It sky rocketed.
Merry Christmas. Well, I did not know if I had a style.

Jane Doe said...

That is a fantastic letter to Santa. I loved it. Thanks for sharing. Have a Happy Holiday!

Tanvi said...

Oh Anshul I was expecting a bomb with the title you have put up.... :P
Anyways I can't think of making it anymore crazy just as always you put a smile on this known the way what did you mean by known and unknown? To whom it concerns you or santa?

Merry Christmas!


Unknown said...

santa never listens to me...hope he listens to u..:P

Alcina said...

I didn't comment on this now doing so..Pretty thinkable ..Hmm..

Blasphemous Aesthete said...

Thank You. Merry Christmas.

well if I make a bomb, they'll arrest me in no time. SO better keep out of it. :P
It means to everybody living, known or unknown.

Yes he will. Merry Christmas.

but you did. Thank you.

Sh@s said...

I just loved this post, the best Santa post I have come across so far :)
Didn't know that you are humorous, too :)
Keep your spirits alive and I hope Santa fulfills your wish.
Wish you Merry Christmas!!

Megha said...

nice letter...u have a 50-50 chance coz u aksed for many things and at the same time u r pulling Santa's leg :)

neway, u say u havent seen snowfall lately ? where do u live ? I havent seen snowfall in my whole life :( (heard of bad mumbai weather?)

"engineers can do any sort of job, and we’re trained in versatility, that’s how we survive even on the North Pole" ..I like it :)

Hope all your asked and unasked wishes come true :)

Neeha said...

Interesting & Hope Santa listens to you..
Advanced New Year wishes:)

Blasphemous Aesthete said...

@ Sh@s

Thank You. And yes he will.

I bet he has a very good sense of humour. I live in Shimla, the queen of the hills and the winter capital of Britishers. :P
And yes, they will come true, that is why I am here.

To you too, happy new year. Thank You.

Unknown said...

Nice post, so many commands rather than drive a hard bargain...Santa will be stuck delivering your gifts and a billion or more kids will be baying for your blood...happy new year. :)

mk said...

hmm..Mr. santa will seriously listen to ur such a nice letter...

and whatever u wishes in real, will be fulfilled....that reminds me are u honest enough to get the deal?

have you been nice or....naughty?

MangoMan said...

That was SOME request to Santa!!!

Purba said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Purba said...

So is Santa listening? Would love to see you do the HoHoHo...

And it's only this Christmas I discovered Santa has a girlfriend too..Santarina

Sourav said...

The Seaduck and the crash landing wishes; seems you'd get them fulfilled without even asking, am sure Santa is good at taking notes!

Well 'engineered' and 'crafted' post.

New Year wishes to you too.

Blasphemous Aesthete said...

If they would lust for blood, would they be children?

Both. :P

Thank You.

Thank you for spreading the information. Their names match too.

Thank you, and wish you the same.

vineet said...

man this 1 is superv, very emphatic writin n ilustratv presentatn, hope to see more frm u n, by the way merry christmas n happy new year in advnc

yasha said...

Hi Anshul,I loved the idea of Santa converting into Santa Singh but then why stick to "Ho Ho Ho"? Don't you think HADIPPA would be good as a desi version;)
Loved your post and the design of your plane too.Wish you a very happy and prosperous new year ahead.
Thanks for visiting my blog leaving your wonderful comments.:)

A Restless Mind With A Sensitive Heart! said...

that was so cute! such a sweet read, never thought so much could be written on Santa! really sweet!

loved the last para. yes, I smiled!


Jaspreet said...

Hey Anshul, this was such a cute post :) I am reading your blog(or any other blog for that matter) after such a long time and this post of yours was a delightful read I must say :)
May Santa fulfill all your wishes.
Wish you and your blog a great new year ahead.Take care :)

Blasphemous Aesthete said...

Thank You, and happy new year to you too. :)

My pleasure lady. You are a fabulous artist. Happy new year to you too. About that Ho ho ho, I was thinking the pirates song in its place....

15 men on a dead man's chest,
yo ho ho and a bottle of rum.


Oh but his sweetness makes me write this. And smile is my gift, see, he has delivered.

Welcome back Jaspreet. Thank you and best of luck to you too.

Mingled Minds said...

thtz a sweet bunch of wishes to sweet to be true...lolz... lovely blog..

Belated merry x'mas and Advance Happy new year.. :D

rantravereflect/ jane said...

:) awwwww- ya really are such a cute thing anshul ;) :*- did ya know cute engineers LAND really hot chicks?!- n i love the airplane! well, did santa make ya happy?!!Happy New Year :)

S said...

Meryy merrry christmas..
and now a happy new year too!

Keep yourself warm and cozy while you travel, listening old man?

love the way u have penned it..very cute :) and yet very "ab-main-bada-ho-gaya-hoon type" :P hee hee..

All the best for the new year :)

Pesto Sauce said...

Thats a lot for Santa

sm said...

beautifully written

Blasphemous Aesthete said...

@Mingled Minds
Thank You, and happy new year to you too.

With such beautiful comments pouring in, and an affirmative of smiles on a few faces, Yepp, Santa listened, to all of them. :)
Oh I didn't really know that they did, because most of the time I see a nice looking girl with some guy, I can only wonder, 'How come that ass gets her. Its like "langoor ke muh mein angoor".

Happy New year.

hehe, ab mein thoda to bada ho hi gaya hoon. But I'll never grow old enough for gifts if he's going to send them.

@Pesto Sauce
If thats a lot, he's not Santa.
And guess what, I had it all.

thank you.

Unknown said...

very sweet :)

Lalita Singh said...

Interesting!! :)

Blasphemous Aesthete said...


Thank You

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